I'm passionate about helping people recognize their ecological awakening and supporting them on their EarthCare journey. I also love to talk about intersecting topics like ethical entrepreneurship, ecological design, grief, connection, being highly sensitive and cheese :) Sign up to get my weekly newsletter and learn about this and more!
I did this in front of 200 people
Hello Reader, I got out to my yard this weekend, for a reprieve from the world’s chaos. 10/10 recommend, regardless of weather. It was cold and rainy, but we cleaned out the bird boxes, so they can build new nests this spring. Then we added to the compost, admired some deer and rabbit tracks, and sat on the porch with bird seed in hand, hoping to make a few new friends. While we sat, bundled up, Tyler and I talked about the conditions required for this particular ecosystem to thrive, and how a freezing cold winter is exactly what it (we) needed. The last several winters were really scary - mild with barely any snow. We had warm spells in January and February that confused the perennials, let tick populations explode, allowed non-native species to gain ground, and put some native species at risk. But this winter has brought the deepest freeze I’ve seen since my childhood. I keep thinking about this winter as I notice so many of our brains and bodies doing something similar (freezing) in response to what's happening in the world. The question is whether we can move through it and learn to adapt like the land does, or whether we'll stay stuck. My inbox, social feeds and conversations have been filled lately with 2 main themes:
Note: Charles will be in my local area on March 21st at this event if you want to connect! I am ever grateful to my former self for curating my content so that the second theme could emerge, otherwise the first could be totally overwhelming. If that’s where you’re at, I’m glad you’re here. I'm linking a ton of helpful resources for you to curate your content better as well. When our nervous systems are overwhelmed by something we can't process yet, or huge amounts of pain, we go into a freeze state - a protective response that has a temporary purpose, like this winter itself, because Nature and the body are wise. Some days (at times like this) we are in fight or flight - panic, rage, terror, fear, total disgust, booking tickets only to realize the nightmare is literally everywhere… aaaaand back to freeze. Sound familiar? These are all justified responses to what’s going on. The instinct is ancient and wise. The difference is that nature's freeze lifts on its own schedule. Ours gets extended by media-blast cycles engineered to keep us in a constant state of alarm. And now we are collectively seeing, in horror, exactly what that alarm was designed to distract us from - corruption that runs far deeper than most of us could fathom, with a lot of people still protecting it. The reckoning is here. We are in active resistance, and I love it. But resistance is a long game. This is a long cultural collapse, not a single crisis. If we continue in these reaction cycles, we will exhaust our brains, bodies and souls long before it's over. And we cannot afford that. We have a hope to stay strong for - Historian Rebecca Solnit spent years studying what actually happens when disaster hits and social structures collapse. Nightmarish things like war, earthquakes, hurricanes, terrorist attacks.
What she found, across all of it, was the same thing: people don't fall apart. We find each other. We build mutual aid, share resources, show up for strangers.
And we do it with a joy that points to something most of us are starving for in ordinary life - real community, real purpose, real meaning.
She says, "the possibility of paradise is already within us as a default setting."
*see links to studies below
That's who we are and that's what's at stake. Our very good human nature. Staying in the long game requires tending ourselves and our relationships. And not allowing ourselves to devolve into the madness. Because the real threat was never each other. Somewhere along the way, many of us forgot that (or it was conditioned out of us). We forgot how to be with each other, and how to be with the land, which holds us together. We were taught to see our neighbors as threats rather than the actual fabric holding things together. This is the core of my work right now. But there's something else we keep forgetting - Grief. Remembering what we actually mean to each other requires grieving how far we've drifted from it. And that can be deeply depressing. Especially when you've been carrying the weight of it in your body long before you had words for what it was. Since we're going deep today, I'll share a little more about me. I’m the kid who couldn’t stop crying when I read about the burning of the great library in Alexandria, and took flowers to my cat’s grave for over 6 months after we buried her. How do you think my sensitive soul handled any other major events? I chased the sun and warmth, reached for the stars, traveled the world and moved many times to avoid winter and all forms of rest, haha. Slowing down meant feeling it - all of it. Stillness felt like I was sitting prey in a twisted culture that was actively consuming everything I loved, from old-growth forests to childhood, and everything between. When I finally stopped running from it, I nearly drowned in the “ocean of grief” that surfaced. Grief over our separation from Nature.
Grief for the mass murder of humans, animals, insects; extinction of entire species and rapid destruction of homes and habitat.
Grief for millions of children trafficked into slavery, and what that means about everything (look into the 80 ghost slaves every American relies upon for our lifestyle).
Grief over political and religious dogmas keeping us all separated, instead of united against such horrors.
Grief around the way Native Americans and People of Color have been systemically oppressed.
Grief for the oppression of women worldwide throughout time.
Grief for the loss of my grandparents and many of my friend’s parents to malpractice and the maliciousness of the medical-industrial complex.
Grief for what I knew was happening, so many times, but couldn't say without social rejection (and grief over the shame and cowardice I felt inside).
Grief for the lack of clarity around what’s true anymore.
Grief for the full scope of what's been broken in our world for so long.
Griefs that ALL our bodies experience, whether our mind is ready to accept it or not.
It took many years to find my way into resources that actually helped, but I did. Which is a huge reason I spent 2+ weeks writing this email. To share it with you, Reader. Ok. Whew. Deep breaths and resolution vibes now. Last summer I met a grief tender and song carrier named Alexandra Blakely, who taught the 4 salves of grief - singing, dancing, storytelling, and silence - which were things our ancestors did daily not only for entertainment but primarily as memory techniques (labeled “rituals” by anthropologists). They used song, dance and myth to encode vital information about plants, animals, the cycles of nature, and information they needed to remember to survive (more about that TBD with Tyler Yenna). Our ancestors likely also knew how essential these activities were for their own healing and vitality, as we now know through science. Research in polyvagal theory shows that singing activates what's called the ventral vagal complex - a network that coordinates breathing, vocalizing, and heart rate to downregulate stress responses and create calm, connected states in the body.
Dancing and drumming trigger similar effects, releasing endorphins and shifting our nervous systems out of freeze or fight-or-flight and into states where healing, connection, and clear thinking become possible again.
*see links to studies below
In a wild and wonderful turn of events, two weeks ago, I co-facilitated a song circle with 200+ people alongside 2 new singing friends: Tarzan Kay (the queen of consent-based marketing) and Sofia Dugas (a body-based voice activation coach). I officially met both of these powerful women at a week-long group singing intensive last summer, in a burst of courage to face one of my longest-running fears: singing around others again. So earlier this month, in the middle of a hotel conference room with tables and chairs moved aside to make space for a circle, we shared simple songs with lyrics like “I’m not alone” and “we come together” and “what the world needs now is joy in resistance.” The gushing feedback matched the incredible feelings we had. "I wasn't sure what to expect at the song circle, but as soon as Tarzan, Kendra, and Sofia began singing I was immediately drawn in. I'm not a singer and this was my first time witnessing the healing power of song. I walked away feeling lighter and more connected to myself and others than I had in a long time and I know others felt the same too." - Sky, a song circle participant The sense of peace, joy and belonging that flooded my system while holding that space was unlike anything I've experienced in years, maybe a lifetime. And that feeling has become a metric for purpose. I was expecting anxiety, fear, maybe even a vocal shutdown, or a wave of grief that filled my throat with sobs. But the experience was just total bliss. There was no way to do it wrong. I was free of all the critical voices in my head, and expectations of performance. I was surrounded by love and song. It was exactly where I was supposed to be. I showed up, in resistance to that internal tyranny, and it transformed my reality. So this is what I think we need right now: JOY in Resistance.
And REUNION.
To really go there, we need to metabolize the GRIEF we're experiencing instead of staying frozen (and isolated) or burning out in our rage against the machine. Don't get me wrong. By all sustainable means, rage on - this nightmare is insane. Anger is a fast-action-facilitator. AND. This is a long-long-long game. Our children’s children depend on us. So - Tend to your body.
Tend the grief behind the rage.
Tend your garden, watershed and wild places.
Tend the future in our hands: our children, families, neighbors and local community members, even if we disagree with them.
Our differences in opinion, belief and politics are often far less harmful than what the people in power over us all have planned for us. This is a knowledge I have been carrying and trying to communicate for so long, and now we have the evidence for this truth, right in our hands. Horrifying as it is. We must find a way to unite. Finding our way back to each other may be the most radical thing we can do and it turns out our bodies already know the way. Body-based practices like the four salves of grief help us move through what's real, heavy and hard to swallow, so we can actually show up for what's ours to tend. They also forge genuine social bonds between strangers, which matters now more than ever. “Throughout our history, humans have faced the challenge of creating social bonds in progressively larger groups. Research shows that group singing may be how we do this - a 2016 study found that singing together increased pain thresholds (a measure of endorphin release), feelings of inclusion, connectivity and positive affect.
Remarkably, a large choir of 232 strangers experienced an even greater change in social closeness than small groups of 20-80 people, demonstrating that singing together fosters bonding even in large groups where individuals don't know each other."
*see link to study below
When we can stay present in our bodies, instead of frozen or burned out, and feel a true sense of belonging, like our being here matters, we are empowered to show up with more stamina and impact. So let's commit to the tending, together. These things really do make a difference both personally and collectively - they're how we find our way back to spring. Back into right relationship with Nature and our neighbors. Back to each other. This is Reunion. And it's the only sane way forward I know. It's how we build "the more beautiful world our hearts know is possible" and prepare for the unknowable realities that may emerge from this nightmare, just like this deep winter is preparing the ground for spring. And that's just what I think, from my limited perspective, for now. What do you think, Reader? Please reply anytime. Stay well, stay wise and stay wild - Kendra P.S. Would you come to a grief + song circle if I held one, either locally or virtually? Please hit reply to let me know. I'm reclaiming my inbox this year too. Morgan was helping me respond to your emails for a while, but I'm back now because I want direct connection with you again, and I have more capacity for it. Thank you for being here. P.P.S. There’s an awesome FUNdraiser for a new nature-based space called Earthworm Learning Center on March 21st. I will be there in support of my friends Jimi + Emily Eisenstein. There will be singing, dancing, and the kind of thing I am talking about in this email. Charles Eisenstein will be hosting a live talk/discussion as well <3 Please apply here to attend (parking is limited so they are prioritizing folks with alignment and carpooling capacity). This is in Dover, PA and they are hoping to raise funds and community! Written by a human - Kendra Marie Hoffman
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EarthCare Matters by Kendra Hoffman
I'm passionate about helping people recognize their ecological awakening and supporting them on their EarthCare journey. I also love to talk about intersecting topics like ethical entrepreneurship, ecological design, grief, connection, being highly sensitive and cheese :) Sign up to get my weekly newsletter and learn about this and more!
Did someone forward you this email? Subscribe here. Hello Reader, As you well know, there is a lot going on in the world right now. Most of it is big, heavy, and challenging to process. It is incredibly easy (and completely normal) to get stuck in the trauma responses. Whether it’s doom-scrolling online or angry-ranting with friends. If you remember my previous email about the freeze state, you know I believe these responses are ancient and protective. But while survival responses keep us...
Did someone forward you this email? Subscribe here. Last week, I shared what I think the world needs NOW… TLDR; In the midst of corruption and our collective grief in response to it, what we need more than ever is JOY in resistance and REUNION. I got so many beautiful replies - thank you all for your patience as I find time to reply! Near the end of every winter I start to face this big, ugly, raw feeling inside of "what the heck am I doing here anyway?" It's valid, I mean, what the heck are...
Dear Reader, As the earth sleeps and the places we tend are blanketed under snow, we hope that you are spending time resting, observing, and enjoying Nature this winter as well. There is a bright red cardinal that frequents an elderberry shrub by my kitchen window. I learned his call and enjoy his “company” through these shorter, dark days. He has trusted this space for years, always returning for more food, as my meadow expands each year. If you are like me, you have every intention of...